Recently, Pope Francis observed that “And lead us not into temptation” doesn’t make sense, because it implies that God’s been tempting us with bad stuff. James had something to say about that in his short, direct epistle, at 1:13-14: “No one who is tested should say, ‘God is tempting me!’ This is because God is not tempted by any form of evil, nor does he tempt anyone. Everyone is tempted by their own cravings; they are lured away and enticed by them.” Turns out, the Koine Greek can be translated more than one way (surprise!), even in the Lord’s Prayer.
The pope invades our comfort zones with a different wording, but the published English felt awkward to me, so I tinkered, and the result is
Please lead us away from temptation, and deliver us from evil. Words in italics aren’t in the traditional prayer. Please is an addition to maintain the same rhythm and number of syllables, but don’t you think it’s about damn time we said please instead of just putting in our order, as at a McDonald’s window?
Anyway, I’m reciting the Lord’s Prayer differently now. I like it. The pope has inspired me. Those Jesuits, you know, always upsetting the comfortable.